When we had our second child life was spiraling to a point where I didn’t think we would make it through. Time together had become a thing of the past and I knew we needed to re-think our marriage. Our lives were running parallel despite loving each other dearly. This was not the way I wanted it and so I came up with this idea, which has worked wonders for us.
For the past decade I have planned a trip each year together, just the two of us. There are all the practical issues like child-care, air-miles for flights to get us far enough away to forget our work lives for a few days and the cost of hotels. These are hurdles though not obstacles to stop us.
Planning these trips where we re-connect, spend glorious hours in bed, discover new places, really talk and listen, laugh and hold hands gives me immense pleasure. I guess that is where the longing comes in, as a trip of this kind seems to give me a boost for around six months and then I begin the process of looking forward to the next trip, of longing for that special time. It truly brings us back to the place where we connect, plan our future and fall in love again.
We are made so very differently men and women, I feel. Although my husband thoroughly enjoys these romantic trips and appreciates my need for them, it is me that drives them. What I love is that he understands that I need this, the planning, the preparation and the romantic vision. What I understand about him is that he needs to be far enough away from our everyday life on these trips to disconnect. Being somewhat of a workaholic he finds it hard to escape mentally so in order to help him take the mental break that he needs, our destinations have this in mind. If we travel to Europe or far enough away then with the time difference he can put down his phone and focus on us.
It takes effort and possible sacrifice throughout the year financially to make our trips to new places. They are worth it though, for with this trip we get the romance and time to bond that we need to keep us going throughout the chaos of family life.
I highly recommend taking a few days, not just an evening or an afternoon, which is simply not enough. If you value your relationship highly enough you need to nurture it and put it up there at the top of the list of priorities. This is the foundation from which everything else fits into place.